A Dark Comedy In Three Acts

Dramatis personæ
Narrator ………. a rogue
Denny ………… an oracle
Chorus …...…… the Washington County Bicycle Club

Prologue

NARRATOR appears off stage and pilots his bicycle briskly for 10 minutes until he arrives at Regner Park where DENNY and CHORUS await.

Act I

NARRATOR and DENNY lead CHORUS away to the northeast. CHORUS lags behind on Creek Road. DENNY sees writing on the wall and exits, stage right, while NARRATOR waits for CHORUS. An hour passes. NARRATOR and CHORUS arrive in Random Lake. NARRATOR can’t average 14.5 mph forever without getting annoyed and exits, stage left.

Act II

NARRATOR rides solo and watches with satisfaction as his average speed climbs. Then the Fates play their card: NARRATOR’s rear derailleur cable snaps (2:13), leading to additional complications (2:20).

Act III

NARRATOR defies the Fates and heroically completes the ride with just two speeds: 53x12 on the flats and 39x12 on the hills. NARRATOR raises his average speed for the entire ride by 1.5 mph despite the mechanical difficulties.

Epilogue

NARRATOR leaves bike at Pedal Moraine for service. He had to go there anyway for an out-of-true front wheel on his cyclocross bike, but the road bike derailleur issue may cost him a chance to do Monday’s time trial test.