Tuesday, March 4, 2014

The Russians Are Coming

Last known photo of Comrade Goofov …

You would think that the Russians would have enough on their plates as they try to tear down both the Sochi Olympic village and Ukrainian independence, but it seems they have time to read my blog. During the last week, Russian visitors to this blog have outpaced American visitors by a margin of more than 2-to-1:

I don’t understand the appeal, but if Jerry Lewis can be a comic genius in France and David Hasselhoff a pop music icon in Germany, then perhaps I can be a voice of reason for Russia. First lesson: If you are planning to visit/invade Wisconsin, then dress warmly. This week the weather is twice as warm in Moscow as it is in West Bend. In other words …

Она сосет здесь. Не подходи.

I think this is just a statistical bump in the road and soon my American audience will reclaim its rightful position atop the leaderboard. But it does make one wonder. If I disappear suddenly, check the gulags.

In the meantime, I am still doing my trainer rides and my upper body strength workouts, still waiting for another opportunity to ride outside, and still hoping that the weather forecast will improve for my upcoming vacation. This morning I had a routine annual physical examination by my doctor and all is well. Next Tuesday I will visit the dentist’s office where, I suspect, not all will be well but at least there will be a plan to make it better. Life—the life I want—is on hold and not even the impending return of Daylight Saving Time brings comfort. Another hour of after-work daylight should be welcome, but not if it’s just another hour of looking out at the ice and snow.


  1. Hilarious stuff Dave!

    Slowly recovering from my crash here in CA. I feel like I'm wasting the opportunity to ride when I think of the wx in WI... but my soft tissue damage isn't exactly creating "opportunity" yet... it's creating "opportunity nyet!"

  2. I was sorry to hear about your crash, Glen, and I'm glad that nothing is broken. But sometimes that soft tissue damage takes longer to heal than a fractured bone.

    Today is our 12th consecutive day below freezing and our 56th such day out of 64 total days this year. We might reach 40 degrees on Friday and again on Sunday, and I'm anxious to ride. But it looks like we go back into the 20s by the middle of next week. There's nothing in the forecast to suggest a durable warmup. We're also approaching a record for the most days with measurable snowfall. Most of our snow events haven't been very dramatic, but every few days brings another inch or two. Some of the biggest snowstorms I have ever seen have come in March, so we're a long way from out of danger this winter. Yet the first road race of the new season is just 11 days away. Fools!