Am I Gross?

Yesterday, one of the Korean cyclists I follow on YouTube posted a video of her very detailed helmet cleaning routine. When I became interested in Korean culture a couple of years ago, I noticed an attention to cleanliness that seems to be an essential part of the Korean personality and not just a good show while the video camera is running. No doubt, some of this extreme dedication to being tidy comes from living in dense urban areas like Seoul and Busan. For many Koreans, there simply isn’t enough room to permit a mess. Living quarters are small but efficient, tasteful, and neat as a pin. For the Korean cyclists I follow, neatness naturally extends to the bike, and it’s something of a social media sensation when a ride on a wet day turns a normally pristine machine into a muddy embarrassment. Schmutz that you or I would wipe away with a trace amount of spit and one stroke of a forefinger merits entire videos or Instagram photo collages in Korea. There seems to be almost a sense of disbelief that dirt could attach itself so readily to a bike that is maintained so meticulously.

The helmet cleaning, though … it got me thinking. And maybe it’s a wonder that I still can think, given all the filth that must surround my noggin on every ride. Perhaps the only thing that has saved me is my skullcap, which I never ride without. The skullcap has always been my defense against sunburn on a head that a more merciful God would have left covered with hair, and it’s generally effective against sweat running into my eyes. Actually, I have a few skullcaps, enough to have a fresh one for each ride. They get laundered, but the helmet itself gets only occasional and cursory cleaning. If it becomes spotted with mud, then I wipe it off. If the straps turn white from salty perspiration, then I clean them with a Clorox wipe. Disassembling the helmet to restore it to factory freshness never occurred to me.

Training partner Jeff Wren says that he takes his helmet into the shower. I’ve never actually witnessed that and I don’t want to, but I’m sure he’s telling the truth. So, that’s at least three different approaches to helmet hygiene, all of which seem satisfactory. If you have a better method, then post it in the comments below.